I haven’t shared this, yet, but a month ago, we had a perfect little miracle join our family. We lost Raylan a year ago and on his birthday, his miracle baby sister was born. To say we feel blessed is an understatement. It was an instant love for all of us. Words can’t describe the joy little Rosie has brought to us. And she showed again the big differences in the way Casey and Rob feel about things. For anyone who still believes those with autism don’t show feelings, they need to watch Casey and Rob with the baby.
For months, Casey talked about Rosie. She wanted to shop for her. She wanted to plan the baby shower. She wanted a new dress for the shower and simply couldn’t wait. We did have a few bumps when I realized that she thought Rosie was actually my mom (her name is Rose) and she didn’t understand why we were buying Grandma baby things, but she went along with it because… well – it’s shopping! 🙂
Rob never mentioned the baby. He firmly said no to the baby shower. He didn’t get excited. He didn’t ask questions. He didn’t worry that we were calling anyone Rosie. He just went along with everything with his usual laid back attitude.
But then…. Rosie was born.
And Uncle Rob cannot get enough of her. When I took them to meet Rosie for the first time, Rob couldn’t stop grinning and giggling all the way to Mandy and Cory’s house. “Rosie. Rosie. Rosie.” He looked at her and grinned. Casey was rocking back and forth with a huge grin on her face as she watched us with the baby. She couldn’t wait to hold her. She was a little nervous, but so happy. Until… she touched Rosie’s cheek and hands – and Rosie moved her arm. Casey jumped and was done holding her. It was too funny – Rosie’s little movement scared Casey. I don’t know why – maybe she thought since she was so little, she was a doll.
Rob wanted a turn, too. Only – he didn’t want to give her up. He pulled her right to him and carefully touched her cheeks and her hands. I asked if he was done and he said no. He just studied her and held her close.
The second time they met, Rob was ready. He cuddled her close again and her movements fascinated him. But the best part – he leaned down and carefully kissed her cheek. Mandy and I were both close to tears to see that. His eyes were twinkling and he had the cutest grin on his face. He is so in love with that little girl. Casey held her again – but only to get a picture taken and then she was done. Now that the party and shopping are over, she isn’t all that interested right now. And she insists on calling her Rosalyn, not Rosie.
I still hear others say people with autism are unable to show emotions or form close attachments. I’ve yet to meet someone who was unable to find humor or show love or compassion. Maybe it looks a little different than what we expect. Maybe they can’t say the words, but their eyes will show their feelings, whether it’s love or humor or sadness or anger. Learn to read eyes and you will find the way to someone’s true feelings. Let go of the expectations you might have of how someone shows love and meet them at their level.
Autism may prevent Rob and Casey from saying “Love you” to little Rosie, but their shining eyes and huge smiles are proof that she is a well loved niece already.