Holidays are special around our house. Birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween, even Memorial Day and July 4th have their own traditions. And every one of them includes family and friends. The gatherings might be smaller because of autism, but we have celebrations. This last month has sure changed the way we follow our traditions.
Casey has a checklist in her head of every thing that needs done to make a special day complete. We colored eggs yesterday, the Easter Bunny came and left baskets and hid eggs. (By the way, the Easter Bunny should not hide eggs when she is mostly asleep… I hope we find the rest by Christmas! 🙂 )
Casey and Rob looked at their baskets, she looked for a few eggs (honestly, I don’t think she cares – it’s just what you are supposed to do!) and went back to their rooms. But not before asking about lunch at grandma’s house. Mandy and Cory are coming here for lunch, so Rob didn’t really care about not going anywhere.
What I have heard over and over is “grandma, grandpa coming here?” (way back when all of this social distancing started, we thought about having a cookout on Easter…we could be together, but apart) The weather simply isn’t cooperating for that idea and we need to protect grandma and grandpa. Casey is having a harder time with this. She will say “not sick!” and I try again to explain to her that she may not feel sick, but she still might get someone else sick.
She flips her head, sighs and stomps her foot. It just doesn’t make sense to her. As I write this, she is still smiling because Mandy and Cory are coming and she planned the menu (ham, baked beans, pasta salad, cookies, brownies and pie… Do you notice the sweet tooth? 🙂 )
What I want to say to her is that I want to see Grandma and Grandpa, too. I miss seeing my brother and his family. We are supposed to be laughing and goofing off – together – not texting Happy Easter to each other. I’ll be the first to admit – I really don’t mind staying home. When our lives are “normal” by the time the kids get home from Hopewell, they need to decompress in their rooms. They want to be alone for a while. And I have supper to make and laundry and… on and on…. Some nights, it seems like we barely connect.
But, since we are all home – we are walking every day (or as many as we can between rain drops and snow flakes!) and we are baking – making crafts – painting. We are just sitting on the swing and watching the birds and talking about Sesame Street or the Wizard of Oz. We are having long “talks” about fast food menus and where we have gone on vacation. We talk about who went to heaven and going to the zoo this summer (maybe!).
So, yeah, I’m missing my family and wishing we were all together. We have already talked about having a Casey/Grandpa/Jen/Jeff/Cory/Lacey/Anna birthday party/Lacey graduation/Mother’s Day/Memorial Day/July 4th party in July. I can only imagine the traditions that Casey will want to include on a day like that! 🙂 But, it won’t matter, because finally, we will all be together and acting like our usual goofy selves. I can’t wait!
I hope that when this is all over, I don’t fall back into my old habit of worrying about gatherings and how Rob will do. I hope I can just relax, grab the kids and go! I hope I remember not being able to see everyone and how little it matters if Rob is a little loud, as long as he is having fun. I’ll do my best, but I also know a lot of the worry depends on how tired I am.
I hope everyone has a blessed Easter with special traditions that are unique to your family! Be happy, be safe!