When you look at the picture of the birdhouse with this post, I’m sure you probably don’t think much about it. Maybe that someone likes pink and purple. But to me, it’s a reminder. A reminder that with autism, as most things in life, it’s all in good time. It’s a waiting game. And for someone who isn’t always that patient, I need that reminder.
Rob painted this birdhouse at his day program last week. Why do I think it’s reminder?
Because – I’ve had those birdhouses for him to paint for a few years and he always said “yes, please, no fanks” when I asked if he wanted to paint them. So, last week, I was cleaning out craft supplies and took a bunch of stuff to the day program for them to use. And he painted it a day or two later.
I couldn’t believe it when he brought it home. I asked him why he wouldn’t paint it with me, but he looked at me like I was crazy. I have a huge tub of paints. I offer him things to paint often as he does enjoy it. And he always said no.
Mandy laughed at me when I commented that I just wanted to know “Why?” Like we can ever know why. And it really doesn’t matter. He said it was fun to paint (and it matches the pumpkin he painted) and that’s all that really matters.
Yesterday, I saw the birdhouse again and it hit me that it is a good reminder to let things happen when they need to. Maybe Rob just felt like painting it the other day because they were painting pumpkins. Maybe he likes their shade of purple better than mine. Maybe he likes their paint brushes. Maybe the moon was in the right cycle and the timing was right. Who knows?
Autism is so much that way. We want to see progress. We want to see that our kids are learning and taking steps forward. And we want to see it NOW! No one wants to wait to see what their child learns next week. We want to know this minute. Autism doesn’t work that way.
For our families, so many things need to be lined up perfectly to see those small steps forward. Sensory issues can’t be causing stress. Anxiety needs to be controlled. The right teacher, the right way to explain things, a child ready to learn. This isn’t just with autism, either. Every child, every person, needs to do things in their own time to their own ability. It’s a lesson we all need to remember. Life is already too fast. Slow down.
Progress will come. Not as quickly as we want, but it will happen. You need to have patience and keep your faith. Keep reaching for the stars. Keep hoping and dreaming.
As for me, I’ll be looking at a little pink and purple birdhouse and reminding myself to slow down and enjoy the little things. Everything will happen in it’s own good time.
If you would like to read more about our adventures in autism, please check out our book – Autism, Apples and Kool-Aid on Amazon.
He is so funny!! We all have days we don’t want to do something, and another day rolls around, and we do. Go figure.
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