I told Casey what the title was and she said, “No fanks. Wet!” Rob just looked at me and shook his head, but honestly, he would be the one most likely to dance in the rain with me. He may think I’ve lost my mind, but most days, he could be close to the truth. 🙂
But, really, when I think of dancing in the rain, I think of being happy no matter what the circumstances you are living in are. You look for the bright side in the clouds and know that rain has to fall so you can see the sun. (If life was always perfect, how would you know? If you had nothing to compare it to? 🙂 )
There are rough days with autism. There are days it is easier to cry than laugh or days you scream into your pillow. Everyone has those days. Sometimes, those rough days last for weeks, months, even. And these are the times that it is most important to dance in the rain.
Dancing in the rain is silly. It’s something a child would do. And sometimes, that is exactly what we need – to be like a child again. Splash through puddles. Color with crayons. Eat Fruity Pebbles right from the box. Have peanut butter for supper. Take a bubble bath. Blow bubbles – finger paint – play with clay. Read a comic book. Watch an old cartoon (Bugs Bunny is the best! 🙂 ) My point is, just for a minutes, let your adult self relax and forget that the laundry is waiting, bills need paid, groceries need bought, lunches need packed, and on and on.
Because here’s the thing. If you don’t dance in the rain and have fun once in a while, life with autism will drag you down. It will exhaust you. It will make you feel incredibly lonely. It will put you on edge. And sooner or later, you will crash. I should know – I’ve been there. It’s not pretty. I’ve had more minor “crashes” than I can remember. And major ones I’d just as soon never think about again. But, if I forget, I might fall back into the same old habits and I can’t let that happen. Casey and Rob are depending on me.
I know it’s hard to get breaks from your child with autism. I have supports and I still find it hard (but honestly, that’s more my issue – some times, I just want to stay home and not bother with taking them somewhere so I can have that break). When I’m tired, it’s just too much effort.
Our life with autism is fairly simple (in terms of autism! 🙂 ) right now. Casey and Rob are happy and doing well. I do what needs to be done to support them without really thinking about it. We stick to a schedule (though, that was altered the last two nights and they did really well!) I know what we need to do if we want to go somewhere and plan accordingly. But – we still have rough times. I still need breaks. I can’t let myself get so down and tired again. It’s not good for any of us.
I know I’ve said this to you before but it needs repeating so you really understand. You have got to find ways to have fun – to laugh – to relieve stress. You need to escape the reality of autism once in a while. You need to find the you that isn’t just an autism mom or dad or grandparent or sibling. You have to be you, too, or you will crash. Being a parent is hard. Being a special needs parent is super hard. Take a break. You need it. You deserve it. I promise – the dust will survive on the furniture and the laundry won’t run away. It’ll all be there when you have the energy to tackle it.
So… for now…. go dance in the rain and laugh! You deserve the fun!