Autism and Our Very Own Personal Rules

My parents and I were laughing yesterday about the details that are left out of the kids’ ISP’s.  These plans are supposed to make it possible for anyone to come into our home and know what to do with the kids and how to deal with their autism, in the event that someone who knows them is unavailable.

I was actually thinking about this last week as I battled the flu.  As I kept hearing about people being admitted to the hospital with it and my fever kept going higher, I worried about the kids if I had to be gone a few days, unexpectedly.  I know it’s silly, as I have any number of people who would be here to take care of the kids, but still – I wondered.

Their ISP’s are good, but if I had to list everything that people would need to know, the plans would be 100 pages long and still not complete.  I can’t still here right now and think about all the little details that we live by because of the autism, but I thought I’d share a few and see what silly, but so desperately important, rules you live by in your home.

#1.  Waffles are eaten in sets of 5 – 2 for Casey and 3 for Rob.  She refuses to eat more than 2 because there is only room for 2 in the toaster.  He wants 3 because….  well, I have no idea why, but he eats them in 3’s.  And they can’t be cooked – he takes them right from the freezer and eats.  Never add anything to his – only pancakes get syrup!

#2. Casey takes baths and Rob takes showers – and never, ever say the wrong one!  They will both emphatically correct you if you ask Casey to take a shower or Rob to take a bath.  Casey always goes first.  Her hair can only be dried at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, unless she is going somewhere special.  Only then am I allowed to use a hair dryer near her.  Snacks and pills should be waiting as they come out of the bathroom.

#3. Different shaped pretzels of the same brand can’t be eaten.  Rob will eat the nuggets and the long rods of one brand, but only the midgets of another.  And what he eats at home can’t always be eaten at Mandy’s house.

#4.  Casey will not bring her coat from her room until her shoes are on.  She will make 3 or 4 trips up the stairs and never bring her coat until it is time to put it on.  And once she puts it on, she won’t take it off (including hat and gloves) until she leaves.  Even when her ride is running late, she refuses to take it off.  She also has to sit in a certain spot on the love seat to wait till her ride comes.

#5.  Certain clothes have to be worn together.  I’m such a terrible mom that I washed Rob’s wind pants last week and not the t-shirts that have to be worn with them.  Poor guy had a stressful night until his red Coca-Cola shirt got washed the next morning and could be worn with the right pair of black wind pants.

#6.  Rob’s TV can only have HGTV on it.  Even if his favorite movie is on another channel, if you change the channel, he yells and changes it back.

#7. Casey has “after work before bath” slippers, “after bath before bed” slippers, “Saturday afternoon before bath” slippers, “Sunday afternoon before bath” slippers and “snow day” slippers.  Never try to give her the wrong slippers.  And don’t try to understand her system.

#8. She won’t eat leftovers.  Even if the food is still on the kitchen counter, but has been put into containers to be saved, it’s leftover and she won’t touch it.  She remembers what we’ve had to eat, so even if I put leftovers in a pan to warm it up, she refuses to eat it.

#9. When they are going to work in the morning or going with their dad, they have to come and go through the front door.  Any other time, they use the back door.

#10. They both need fans, night lights and a huge pile of blankets to go to sleep at home, but anywhere else, they don’t need it all.

This is just a few of the things we do every day without even thinking about it.  What unwritten autism rules do you have at your house?  I’d love to hear about them!