Every mom knows the scene. One child is upset and the other is making things worse. I’ve shared before how Casey and Rob will try to irritate each other at times, just like typical siblings.
It happened again last week. I’m still not sure what was upsetting Casey, but she yelled once. I went to her to try and calm her before she lost control and seemed to be making progress – until I saw her eyes change and another yell came out.
At the same time, I saw a reflection behind me. Want to guess who was standing in the hall laughing at Casey? Yep… Her sweet little brother. 🙂
I told him to leave her alone and go watch TV. Rob pointed at her and said, “No fits, Casey!” as he turned away, giggling. She was furious! I stepped in front of her and started talking about different things we would be doing this week and she calmed down.
Until we went to the living room and Rob started in on her again. “No fits. That’s bad. No yelling.” And he was laughing. I finally had to send him to his room with his iPad so I could calm her down.
Don’t believe for a minute she never picks at him. Yesterday, it was his turn to pick the CD in the car. He did and I asked Casey to put it in. Instead, she picked what she wanted. When it started playing, he went on repeat “mix! Mix! Mix!” While she looked straight ahead with a big smile on her face. (I changed it to his, but she kept turning around and grinning at him).
While they do pick at each other, they are also fiercely loyal and watch out for each other. Casey will tell me if someone is mean to Rob and Rob holds her hand when we are in crowds. (Neither of them like crowds, but she wants to hold onto someone so she feels safer).
When he can’t find her, he asks where she is. If she gets home first, she asks for him (though, often, she doesn’t think about him until her color by number pages are done! 🙂) But, that’s siblings for you!
I’ll admit, it’s frustrating to me when they pick at each other, but at the same time, I’m proud of them. They are siblings first – autism is secondary to that and it shows!
Autism doesn’t define them and you shouldn’t let it define your child, either. Autism is just part of who they are, like their hair or eye color. Your child with autism needs the same rules as your typical children.
Enjoy the sibling squabbles. Be happy they are aware enough of each other to argue like siblings always do.