Autism and Being Thankful

Years ago, when I did the children’s chats at church every Sunday, I would always ask the kids what they are thankful for. The catch was – it had to be something others might think was silly, but that meant a lot to the kids. It was always interesting to hear what they had to say, but it was also a surprise at how hard it was to get them to open up about silly things they were thankful for. So this week, in the spirit of the season, I’m going to share a few things I’m thankful for this year.

1. We all survived the time change. For anyone without a child with autism, that may seem silly, but oh my God. Time change week is never fun. The only good thing is that the change in the fall makes Casey and Rob want to go to bed earlier. But, not necessarily to sleep… they lay there and talk and sing and then when it is time to be quiet, they are too wound up to sleep. Time changes suck and I have decided to convince the Ohio legislature to do away with it (there has been a bill laying around for a few years) by taking Casey and Rob to every politician against doing away with it and say “Here ya go – enjoy time change week!” and leave them. The bill will be passed in a day or so! 🙂
2. I got a list of “wants” from both kids this year! Last year was the first time Rob ever told me anything he would like to have from Santa. Signs, of course. For his birthday in August, he asked for certain colors of Legos. A few weeks ago, he said he wanted signs, but this morning, he added a railroad, Legos and crayons! Casey gave me her list weeks ago and it was basically the same one she has given Santa for years – only the colors of the shirts she wants change and the stuffed Sesame Street character. If you can’t get a list of ideas from your kids, please don’t think about their actual age – buy what they would like. Casey and Rob will get lots of things that are no where near age appropriate, but that will make them happy. And that’s your goal, right?
3. While I will never get rich teaching preschool, I am thankful that I can work a few blocks from the kids’ day hab and that I am able to be home with them until they are picked up each morning. I’m also grateful that my co-workers are so understanding when I’m exhausted from too little sleep or frustrated about service issues. And if I need time off to deal with those problems, it’s not a big deal. Every time I think I need to look for another job, I think about those facts and know that I need to stay right where I am. 🙂
4. Speaking of their day hab – I am so thankful they both love going there and that they are given so many opportunities to do things that they enjoy. I’ll admit, there have been bumps here and there, but right now, Casey and Rob are both happy to get on the shuttle in the mornings, so I know they are excited to be going. Casey can volunteer to her heart’s delight and Rob can join in whatever strikes his fancy that day. It wasn’t too long ago, he spent his days in his therapy swing, basically hiding from everyone. I am constantly reading stories of other families who are desperate to find somewhere for their adult child that will serve their needs. We have several options in our area, but many places have none – or waiting lists that are years long. For a small town, we do have a lot of day hab options.
5. I am thankful that we all enjoy long hikes together. For many families, actually doing things as a family is difficult if not impossible. Casey and Rob both love hiking and it’s something we can all do together – not to mention the amazing exercise we get! It took years to get to this point. We are finally able to try new things and see how it goes. Last summer, we were able to get away a few days without Rob stressing the entire time.

All around us, we are hearing statements telling us to share what we are thankful for – things we are grateful for. It’s just that time of year. I urge you to look around you and find things to be thankful for, too. I know that in the midst of sensory meltdowns, fighting with insurance companies, little sleep and the stress from every day things, it’s hard to think of anything to be thankful for. But, every day, find something small. There were times I was thankful I could walk downstairs and get the laundry without a screaming meltdown because I disappeared.

I was thankful that neither of them tried to leave the house during the night. Neither played with knives, fire or cleaning products. As much as I got tired of their routines, at times, I was thankful for those same routines. Look around you – I’m sure there is something that you can smile about today. Maybe you got to go to the bathroom for a few seconds or got to have a cup of coffee while your child watched TV. Maybe your child didn’t cry at his new shirt or your daughter was able to give you a quick hug. Enjoy those times – relive those beautiful moments and say a quiet “thank you.”