Category: sensory issues

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Autism and Fun at the Fair

Autism and Fun at the Fair

Finally! The day Casey has been waiting for for two years! They got to go to our county fair Friday and ride till they dropped. She was so upset last year when the fair was canceled and has been asking about this year since last fall. Even Thursday evening, she wanted to be sure it was still happening.

We usually go on Sunday morning and beat the crowd, but with the rain predicted today, I surprised them and we went Friday. It was the perfect day – not many people and a beautiful day to be outside. We had a few minor bumps (the rides didn’t open when I was told they would so we had to kill an hour wandering around – Rob’s least favorite thing to do!)

He has two reasons to go to the fair. Ride until I say we have to leave and to get some French fries. He doesn’t care about other “fair” food (he will eat some of it, but he doesn’t go to the fair for anything but to ride!) He couldn’t tell me, but I know he was disappointed that neither of his two favorite rides were there. He hates heights, so that eliminated two other rides (though I can’t figure out why it’s okay to be high if you are being spun like a top!) so really there are only four rides that he enjoys. That’s okay – he got spun until I thought I would get sick.

Yep – I spent my time safely on the ground, trying to remember if I ever really liked rides. I don’t mind some of them, but I hate heights and spinning makes me sick. But – as I watched them, I couldn’t help but think of the way it used to be taking them to the fair. Casey never darted away at the fair, but because she did so often in other places, I was scared to death she would there, too. Rob darted away. He hated crowds and noise, but he loved the rides and he was fast – so, so fast.

It’s crazy. I don’t know why I did this, but when they were little, we spent hours there. So many hours…. and why? Part of it was Mandy, of course. She liked more about the fair than just the rides. And, for the most part, Casey and Rob would take breaks from rides to walk around a while. Rob has just matured to the point that he knows what he wants and truly sees no reason to be there if it’s not to ride. 🙂 I finally realized it was fine to go home when they needed to go. I could always take Mandy back to have fun with her friends.

Casey likes to ride, but she’ll look around, too. Not because she is very interested in it, but because that’s what she has decided you are “supposed” to do, but only with certain people and at certain times. When she is with Rob and me, rides are all that’s important. The crowds and noise start bothering them and we leave. I can see the signals of overload. Their eyes look dull instead of happy. They are shutting down. Time to go.

For the last several years, Rob isn’t ready to stop riding when she is. Usually, we compromise with two more rides, then fries and home and he’s okay with that. Casey is a little more able to know when she’s reaching her limit and wants to leave. He is just so happy about the rides and the sensory input he gets, it takes him a little longer to be done.

I am so proud of how well they did. They both stayed right with me and waited patiently for their turn to get on rides. I was even able to have them sit at a picnic table while I walked about 15 feet away to get their drinks. When they were little, I never dreamed that day would come. When they couldn’t wait in lines…. when they didn’t want to leave…. when they would run from me. It’s all so different now. Remember us when you are feeling like things will never change. They do!

Rob even asked for the fair again yesterday. The only thing he asks about is Hopewell – for him to ask to go to the fair again is huge to me. The weather today is preventing a return trip, but hopefully, they’ll get there one evening this week and enjoy more spinning and swooping.

Casey loves the fair for many reasons, but mostly, it’s because that’s what you are supposed to do the first Sunday of October. She does enjoy the rides, but again, she enjoys it because she loves going anywhere. For Rob, the fair is different. He craves the sensory input from the rides. All of that spinning is calming to him. It feeds his proprioceptive needs unlike anything else. As fast as I can spin him in a swing, it’s nothing compared to those rides. He loves the way those spins make him feel. I keep telling our neighbor I’m going to purchase one of those giant swinging boats for our backyards. Rob needs that in ways I can’t understand. I only know how different he is after a few hours of it. Calm. Happy. Relaxed. I love seeing him like that.

If you are planning a day out with your child, I highly suggest you take a picture of your child with your phone as soon as you get there in case he/she does dart away, you will have a picture to show people to help find them. Also, you can safety pin a tag on the back of your child’s shirt with your phone number on it (Many kids won’t like this – you may have to get creative about where you put a tag) You can also purchase necklaces or bracelets, if your child will wear them, before you go with vital information.

And I love spending a day like this with them. It’s a dream I wasn’t sure would ever happen. I don’t take days like this for granted. Autism taught me that – take nothing for granted and enjoy it all! 🙂

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Autism and Doing Things “Our” Way

Autism and Doing Things “Our” Way

I was really struggling to decide what I wanted to write about this week. I don’t know about anyone else, but the last few weeks have been a blur. I haven’t even posted much on our Facebook page. I don’t know why – I just don’t think about it or I’m too tired. Anyway, several weeks ago, Casey used fabric markers and spray paint (for fabrics) to decorate three shirts. She had been asking to tie dye for months, but we just hadn’t gotten around to it and when she finally had a choice, she picked the other way to decorate.

But – as typical Casey – she didn’t forget about the tie dying. She absolutely loves anything tie-dyed. The brighter, the better. She even has crocs that are tie dyed (tho she rarely wears them – I don’t think they are as comfy as she thought they would be). Mandy bought her two white shirts on sale and Casey began to remind me every few days she wanted to tie-dye them. Finally, last week, I remembered to order the stuff and today, we did her shirts.

I can’t even begin to tell you how excited she was! Huge grin, eyes sparkling, dancing around. I had looked up how to make different patterns and couldn’t wait to show her.

Casey, as usual, had her own ideas.

She carefully told me where to put rubber bands on the first shirt (one snapped, so she refused to try it herself). I just started to tell her how to put the dye to make patterns when the dye started flying. She went up and down the shirt squeezing the bottle as hard as she could and all ideas for special designs went out the window. But, as I stood and watched her carefully squeeze dye where she thought it needed to be, I noticed the twinkle in her eye and the big smile on her face. And I knew what my blog today would be about. It’s really simple – there is more than one way to do things.

Sometimes, we get so stuck on how we think things should be – how children will walk down a hall, how to tie shoes, how to sit at a desk, how to hold a pencil – that we forget not everyone thinks like us. And that is even more important when you have a child with special needs. They are incredibly able to adapt situations to fit their own needs. We forget that – I think because, especially with people with communication issues – because they won’t speak up for themselves and say “I want to do it this way!”

When she finished with the first shirt, she looked at me. I knew by the look in her eyes, she was wondering how to do the other one differently. I told her she could “color between the rubber bands” and that’s what she did – in her own pattern and squeezing as much dye as she could into each area. She still had the big smile and now she was giggling about it, too. I would have missed those special moments if I had made her do it the way I thought she should.

Living with autism for more than 30 years has taught me many things but the most important is to always think outside the box. Think outside what is considered “normal.” It doesn’t matter how you get to your goal, as long as you keep making progress in that direction. I had some wild ideas to help the kids when they were little. Some worked, some didn’t. And that’s okay. We just moved on past the ones that didn’t work and kept moving forward. Don’t get caught up in “the way it’s always been done.” Just because something has always been done one way doesn’t mean there aren’t better ways to do it.

Let your child be your guide. Use their interests (obsessions) to help teach other skills. Elmo showed Casey many things and I used lots of lines from the original Willy Wonka and Wizard of Oz to help Rob understand things. He knew those movies – he understood the words so I used them in odd ways, but it worked. Always think outside the box – who cares how silly something seems, as long as it helps your child?

Casey has very definite ideas about how her clothes need to be folded and put away. Rob couldn’t care less about how they are folded, but they need to be in a certain place in his room. And both ways are okay. Their laundry is folded and not on my dining room table, so I’m happy. I’m not going to ask either of them to do their laundry the way the other does.

Your child may be having sensory issues and that may be why they can’t do things the way you think they should. Maybe your perfume is too strong. Or the lights are flickering so much they can’t concentrate. Maybe their shirt is painful or they are hungry. Until your child can tell you why they don’t want to do things your way, you have to learn to relax and be happy they will do it their way.

There are a million ways of doing things. As long as your child is making progress, who cares how they get there? Relax and be happy!

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Autism and the Non-Compliant Child

Autism and the Non-Compliant Child

I was asked a few days ago what I would do if teachers or staff tried to force Casey and Rob to always be compliant. Okay, first of all – who is going to force me to always do what others think I should? 🙂 But, seriously, it is an issue that is running rampant in schools and care facilities. What to do about the person who won’t do what staff wants them to do? And then, what to do with the staff that try to force compliance on a person? (apparently, my first thought of smacking them in the head is NOT a good option! 🙂 ).

I do understand the need for a certain amount of compliance, especially for safety reasons. Children need to learn the dangers of running off from their group (and this is a tough thing to teach children and adults with no sense of danger!) or how to play on playground equipment correctly (again, a tough thing to teach sensory seekers!). But, I do not believe that any program should be a “one size fits all” program. Every child, special needs or typical, is different and those differences need to be considered when working with the child.

When Casey was in preschool, she refused to keep her hand on the rail as the group walked down the hall. I think she simply saw no need for it, so she didn’t do it. As long as she stayed with the group, her teachers and the aide didn’t care. Other teachers, though, force children to keep that hand on the rail. Why? As long as the child is walking with the group – who cares? Will it matter tomorrow?

And besides, you have no idea why that child/person may be avoiding something. How do you know that the rail isn’t painful to them? That it may hurt their arm to walk like that? Unless that child is verbal and can tell you, you don’t know. Forcing that child to walk like everyone else is just a power trip for that teacher. Again, I mean when the child is willingly walking and staying with the group – who cares where their hand is?

Maybe the child is avoiding doing an art project because the scissors hurt their hand? Or maybe they are embarrassed because they can’t use the scissors as easily as their classmates? Maybe the glue makes them gag. Maybe they simply do not understand what is being asked of them. And when the child refuses to do the art project, they may be labelled non-compliant and the teacher becomes frustrated.

I get it – you have laid out this wonderful, fun project (to you, anyway) about Valentine’s Day and that child refuses to cut out a heart. What is wrong with the child? Don’t they know that mom will love their project? Don’t they care about mom? Seriously, folks, I’ve heard teachers make these comments. I do understand the teacher’s excitement, but what about the child?

Every time you have a child that refuses to do something, stop and ask yourself “Why?” and really think outside the box. Maybe the person is hungry, tired or sad. Maybe they are thinking about the dance they get to go to later that day or maybe they are thinking about Legos or pizza or coloring books. Maybe they are wondering where the teacher got those cool socks. Teachers and staff tend to take non-compliance personally and usually, it has nothing at all to do with them.

I once taught a little guy who has autism and ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). He would sign that he wanted to go outside, but if you said, “Ok, let’s go” he would refuse every time and I ended up standing in the hall while he sat. He went against everything that was said to him – even if it was something he wanted to do. It was his disorder. I soon learned if he wanted to go outside, not to say a word, but to go get my coat and he would happily follow, because it was his idea. I spent a lot of time sitting in the hallway while he hung upside down as he tried to decide whether he wanted to do what I suggested or not. (I have to say – even with all of that, he is one of those little ones that gets into your heart and never leaves. He always has a smile for me when I see him now and it’s been years since I taught him).

Consider that the person may have sensory issues you are not aware of. Sensory issues ARE real, not just a way to get out of doing things. They are painful and distracting and stressful. If you don’t believe me, think about being put in a small room, music is playing, a candle with a strong odor is burning, the lights are flickering, the heat is turned up, the clock is ticking loudly and you are being forced to wear clothes that are itchy. And – you are told that for lunch, you are being fed something that absolutely turns your stomach. And, someone comes in and says, “Read this story. Answer the questions. And sit still, no wiggling.” Let’s see how long you last. Don’t fool yourself – you will be a grouchy mess.

And that’s what some of our kids live with every – single – day. Teachers and staff need to understand that. They also need to know that people with autism can “read” others. They know who respects and cares for them and who is only there for the money. And they will respond to those that respect them in a completely different way. If the kids know someone doesn’t like them, why in the world would they want to anything for that person? I have learned that if Casey or Rob avoids someone, there is a good reason and I should avoid that person, too.

As I said, some compliance is necessary. I believe Casey and Rob should help clean up messes they make. They need to take their medications. (although, if someone refuses to take theirs, think about their reasons. Maybe they feel worse after taking it? Maybe they don’t trust the person giving it to them? Always, always, think outside the box!) It can be very hard to discover the reasons behind many behaviors, but it has to be done.

Often, a new set of eyes can help. When you are too close to a problem, it can seem insurmountable, but someone new might see something you haven’t noticed. I’m always open to people giving me their ideas. I know sometimes I get stuck and can’t get past my irritation at the behavior or the fact that I’m just too tired. Ask for help before you do something you will regret. If your frustration is too great, walk away from the situation! One wrong action could have devastating affects on the person you are working with.

There are some people who are simply not cut out to work with people with autism. They don’t have the right temperment or passion. They may think it will be easy and when it isn’t, they get angry and do things without thinking. I get that – I’ve done that. But – our kids need to be surrounded by people who love them – not bullies who will force them to do what they are told. Yes, I do think some teachers/staff can be bullies. It becomes “You WILL do what I say, no matter what.” It becomes a battle of wills and trust me when I say this – no one is better at winning a battle of wills than a person with autism. You will not win. And if you do, it’s only because the child became bored and gave up. But, if it is truly something that child doesn’t want to do – they won’t give up.

And then you need to ask yourself “Is this the hill I want to die on?” That question was used in military strategy sessions in regards to whether holding a certain position is truly worth it. Think about it. If winning this battle meant losing your self-respect, is it worth it? Nope. It isn’t. So when things become intense and you are thinking about forcing someone with autism to do what you want, stop and think…

Is this the hill I want to die on?

Will this matter tomorrow?

If either answer is no, then walk away. The person with autism didn’t “win.” You both did.

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Autism and Very Real, Very Painful Sensory Issues

Autism and Very Real, Very Painful Sensory Issues

I’ve written many times about the sensory issues that Rob and Casey deal with every day. What continually shocks me is that people think their sensitivities are just made up – or that they are just being brats and doing what they want. Let me tell ya – I am furious when that happens!

Someone insisted Rob wear a different type of shirt to the fair last week. I wasn’t there to stop it. The heat index was well into the 90’s even in the evening. By the time Rob got home, he had blotches of red all over him and was swelled up. Thankfully, a cool shower, the AC and baby powder helped soothe his skin. He will never wear that shirt again.

Rob doesn’t choose to wear the same types of shirt because he is being a brat. He wears them because they are comfy and don’t irritate his skin. He needs those shirts to keep his anxiety in check. He needs to be accepted as he is – sensory needs and all! He is willing to try new shirts for short periods of time and that’s all I can ask of him. When he is ready, he will wear different shirts again. When that will be, I have no idea. But I’m okay with buying him what he needs to be happy.

He is often called a picky eater. While it does seem like it because there are so many things he won’t eat, it’s his sensory issues, not him just trying to get his way. Anything gooey will make him gag. He has tried new things in the last year and every gooey thing makes him gag. He keeps trying, but him eating pudding is just not that important. There are plenty of healthy choices that aren’t going to make him gag. It’s not that big of a deal. He loves fruits (fresh, not canned, tho he will eat canned pineapple) Vegetables, especially peas and corn on the cob. (He won’t touch creamed corn or peas) and most meats (except lunch meat like bologna).

He won’t eat most cookies or candy. He does love certain types of chips (like his mom! 🙂 ) He used to love spaghetti, but can’t eat it now. I’m not sure why – but I’m assuming at some point, the tomato sauce upset his stomach and he thinks it will every time he eats it.

Crowds bother him. He can handle them for short periods of time, depending on what he is doing. Certain pitches of sounds cause him pain, but that seems to be getting a lot better. He doesn’t feel pain from bruises or cuts. He doesn’t feel water that is too hot. I have no idea why he is so sensitive to the feel of clothing when he doesn’t feel other things. But – I don’t need to know why. I just know what he needs and that’s all that matters.

Clothes don’t bother Casey. She feels when water is too hot, but she also seems to not know when she is hot, if that makes sense. She wears heavy clothes on warm days, simply because the calendar in her head says she should. She doesn’t taste salt, so she wants to pile salt on everything. (I limit that!) She is more sensitive to sounds and will put her fingers deep in her ears to protect herself.

Gooey foods don’t bother her, but her doesn’t like to get anything on her hands, like paint or mud. She will let me paint her hands for a craft, but she needs to wash right away. She doesn’t feel pain from cuts, either. Several years ago, she was taking forever getting ready to go to Hopewell. When I opened the bathroom door to check on her, she was sitting on the edge of the bathtub with a box of band aids trying to stop the blood that was pouring from a 5″ cut on her leg. Apparently, her brand new mattress had a spring pop up thru it and she cut her leg in her sleep. It took 16 staples to close the cut. But – she never cried from the pain. She never told me about it.

It’s not always easy living with their sensory issues. I would love to see Rob in jeans and a flannel shirt. But it’s not going to happen right now and I can accept that. It might happen in the future – it might not. There is no way of knowing and that’s okay, too. It’s hard some days when her needs are completely different than his, but we figure it out. Probably not always in the best way, but in the best way for us.

Please, please – let your child do what they need to be happy and comfortable. I understand your frustrations, but how frustrated we are is nothing compared to the pain they feel at noises or touches. Our frustration may come and go, but their needs are constant. Imagine how you would feel if it was painful to be in certain restaurants because of the AC (Casey and Rob both avoided several places when they were smaller. We couldn’t use the AC in the car because Casey just cried.). Imagine your frustration if clothes were painful and you were forced to put them on anyway. You would have a meltdown, too.

I know parents worry about their kids getting the right nutrients when they will only eat chicken nuggets and pizza. Keep offering very small bites of other foods. And keep in mind that it might be the smell of the food that is the problem. It’s all trial and error. Yes, it’s exhausting, but you never know when your child might decide to try something new.

Your child’s sensory issues are real. They are painful. They are uncomfortable. They may just be an annoyance. Every person has different needs and to different degrees. Follow your child’s lead and let them be the amazing person they were created to be. Trying to force them to be something else will only cause pain and heartbreak for all of you.

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Autism and the Different Therapies we Tried

Autism and Different Therapies

A few weeks ago, I mentioned in one of my posts that Casey and Rob had taken Equine (Horseback) therapy and I had a few questions about how that helped the kids and what else we had tried.

Casey and Rob both started with speech therapy early.  I drove Casey to a city about 35 miles from us twice a week when she was 3 to get speech therapy.  It was the closest place for us.  Once she began preschool with our local school district, she got therapy there and once a week the therapist came to our house.  Not only was this lady an amazing speech therapist, but she had some experience with sensory issues and taught me a few tricks that I still use today with the kids.  (Thanks, Connie!)

Rob started getting speech at home, along with a preschool teacher who visited.  Both were once a week when he just turned 3.  (Mandy was still in the preschool class he would be starting, so we thought it best for her to finish the year and have him start the following fall.  With his late August birthday, he would still have two years of preschool.)

Casey continued with speech therapy when she started Kindergarten and was seeing the therapist twice a week and for group time.  Our local hospital finally had a speech clinic by this time, so I took them both every week for one on one at the clinic.  This lasted about a year, until the hospital lost the therapist.  Several years later, I would again be taking them to that clinic for speech.

Rob went to our county board of DD Kindergarten instead of going to our local school district.  The teacher he was supposed to have was one that wasn’t good for Casey and I refused to let her near him.  While he was in Kindergarten, he started Occupational therapy, along with speech.  When the school district hired an OT, Casey started seeing her, too.  (OT can be a wonderful tool to help with sensory issues!  Neither Casey or Rob had many issues with fine motor skills, but the sensory play they taught helped so much!  Thanks, Deena, Steve, and Brooke!)

We discovered that many of Casey’s meltdowns were from sensory issues.  She was simply overwhelmed by sounds and couldn’t help herself.  She didn’t have the words to tell me what was wrong, so she screamed and cried.  (Don’t misunderstand – some of her meltdowns were schedule changes, too, or my changing the routine that she so rigidly followed!)  I learned that piles and piles of blankets were an absolute necessity for both kids to be able to calm down enough to even think about sleeping.  (We still had sleep issues, but screaming wasn’t one of them – finally!)

Rob needed deep pressure to stay calm and control his anxiety.  He was terrified of loud noises (School bathrooms were a nightmare for him!) and he wore ear protection for most of his elementary years.  Not only did the head set block (he wore a set of hunter’s ear guards) the noise, but it added deep pressure to his head and he didn’t feel the need to squeeze his jaw as often.  He wore a weighted vest when he was at school and also had a weighted lap blanket for days he needed even more.

It was suggested that a swing may help him even more and the school purchased a large platform swing for his classroom.  Beth (his one on one) figured out that he could do math and spelling quickly while he was swinging so she worked with him while he laid on the swing.  Spelling was always easy for him, but although he could do the math, it had little interest to him.

In 2003 – 2004 (I can’t remember, exactly!) we found out that an equine therapy group had been started.  I knew the couple who started it and decided to take the kids one evening to see what it was all about.  I knew Casey wouldn’t like it, as she was scared to death of animals, but part of the therapy was petting and brushing your horse and I thought she might get close enough to touch one.  I also knew Rob wouldn’t be a problem – my little daredevil would try anything.

I was shocked when Casey climbed into the saddle of the horse before she was even asked if she wanted to ride!   There was a person walking on each side of the horse and another one to lead.  She sat up so tall and looked like she had been riding her entire life.  Rob jumped on a horse, too, and soon gave the volunteers heart attacks as he leaned too far one way and then the other so he could watch the horse’s feet.  I assured them he wouldn’t fall, but it took a few weeks before they believed me.

During their therapy, they had to complete different games from their horse’s back.  They threw basketballs, tossed beanbags and rings and had to stretch to ring bells.  With the beanbags, the holes were different shapes and colors and they were told which color/shape to aim for.  Rob had a deadly aim, even as he barely looked at the board.  I soon learned that while they were on their horses, they could do things that they couldn’t do normally.  They both knew their right from their left hands (After years of doing this on horses, they still can’t tell me when they aren’t on one.  Or they simply don’t care!  🙂  )

They could answer simple questions and practice their spelling words.  We practiced math facts – anything to keep drilling those lessons into their heads.  (and strangely enough, the spelling and math stuck with them when they weren’t on their horses – it seems only right/left didn’t matter).  Because there was a large group riding, the evening also became something of a social event for me.  I could talk to other parents of kids with special needs as we took turns leading horses or walking with the kids.  It was great knowing that Rob’s squeals or Casey’s obsession with socks wouldn’t be an issue!  (By the way – Casey’s horse was named Socks – how appropriate is that?)

After more than 12 years of riding, we stopped horse therapy for different reasons.  I had developed a severe allergy to the horses and could no longer be near enough to help (even with medication, there were times I could barely drive home) and the kids seemed to be losing interest in it.  It had become something that “had” to be done instead of something we all enjoyed.  If you have equine therapy close to you, please consider trying it.  It was a great experience for us.

Rob takes aquatic therapy every two weeks at the hospital to help with his anxiety and for something he loves to do.  Insurance will only pay for 26 visits a year, but we are both thrilled with that.  He loves going and he loves his therapist (Thanks, Erin!) and is always excited to tell me what he did that day.  I did have to warn her that he would sink to the bottom and sit and not to worry about him, but it did still freak them out the first few times he did it.  (It seems he will never come back up as he sits down there and grins up at you!)

There are so many therapies available to help people with autism, now.  I do the same thing with therapies that I do with meds.  I think about what good can happen, what side-effects can happen and the expense.  And I ask the kids if they want to try. Sometimes, the answer is no, and that’s fine.  I wait a few months and ask again.

ABA became popular when my kids were a little older and there was no one in our state able to provide those services.  When I taught preschoolers with autism, we used the ABLLS system and I did a lot of that with Casey and Rob, even though they were much older.  They both enjoyed the little games and I’m sure it helped some.

As with anything else concerning your child with autism, follow your gut instincts when considering a new therapy.  You will know quickly if something is working (or not working!) for your child.  Find something fun with a great therapist.  And if you would like to hear more about our experiences with the therapies we tried, send me a message!  🙂

 

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Autism and Spinning – A Day at the County Fair!

Autism and Spinning - A Day at the County Fair

 

I can’t believe that it’s fair time here already and that tomorrow, “September will be all done!” as Casey says. I’ll admit it – I am usually excited about taking them to the fair, but this morning, I just wasn’t into it. They were excited – I was dragging and grumpy.

It’s a beautiful day here. Amazing blue sky and perfect temperature to wander around the fairgrounds. When we left home, they were both wearing jackets, but I told Rob he better not wear one (I didn’t want to carry it all day!). As soon as he saw Casey had hers, he had to have his, too. When we parked, I tried to convince him to leave it in the car, but nope – Casey still had hers on, so he had to be like big sis. We walked across the parking lot and I told him to take it off if he got too hot. And he did. So back to the car we went to drop it off. And I got grumpier.

I also knew that the two rides that Rob loves more than anything weren’t at the fair this year and I had been worried all night how he would react when the big boat and the other platform swing wasn’t there. Those rides calm him down so much – I just knew he would be anxious when he didn’t see them.

And, of course, he proved me wrong again. He never even asked for them. They both carefully looked at their choices of rides (these are big decisions, you know!) and started taking turns choosing what to ride next. When Casey chose the Super Loop, i knew he wouldn’t ride it – he absolutely hates any ride that goes upside down. She got in line – and he followed. I pointed at the ride and asked if he wanted to ride. “Yes, pease.” So… I backed away, knowing this was a bad idea.

They were the only two on it. I couldn’t watch as it began it’s slow circle up and back – until they were upside down and it continually went in the circle. Ugh! I snapped a picture, then couldn’t watch anymore. I wasn’t sure if Rob would gt sick on the ride or after. Or if he would be too scared to climb off of it.

You guessed it. He loved the darn thing – couldn’t wait to get back on it again. I’m not sure how many times they rode it. I thought maybe he would follow Casey onto every ride, but nope – the Drop Zone was a definite NO. (It pulls riders up about 20 feet and drops them) He didn’t even say his usual “yes, pease, no fanks.” It was just NO. So she rode it a few times on her own and they went on having fun together.

We did have one rough time. They needed to go to the bathroom and instead of going to the one where the entrances of the men’s and women’s are together (and it’s small – I would know if anyone was in there with him), they ran the other way and he darted into the huge men’s bathroom before I could stop him – and she started going to the women’s entrance – at the other side of this 30′ building. I panicked – how was I going to be in two places at once? So I as I was running back to the men’s entrance, I was pulling out my phone to call Mandy (she was working in a close building) so she could come and wait for Casey while I got Rob.

Somehow, he managed to get in and out in of the bathroom in the few seconds it took me to get Casey to the other bathroom. He was standing on the sidewalk, looking more than a little lost. I’m always where he can easily see me when they come out of the bathroom or off the rides. It must have scared him a little because as soon as he saw me, he leaned his forehead to mine. I felt so bad! More rides cheered him up, though.

The more the ride spun, the happier they were. Big circles, little circles, up and down circles, bouncy circles. They loved it all. I had a hard time even watching some of the spinning they were doing! I’m so glad they love it as much as they do – and that the spinning helps their sensory issues. Some kids get more wired after spinning, but both of them calm down.

If you have a child who loves to spin, try putting them in a swing and twisting it around and around and letting go. Or you can buy a scooter board (basically a piece of plywood with casters on each corner) and have them sit as you spin them around. Or a Sit and Spin toy works wonders, too. The whole point is to find something safe and appropriate for them to use to get what their body needs, or they will go looking for it – and you may not like what they do!

When they were smaller, going to the fair was hard. Rob and Casey both had a tendency to run off and in crowds, it’s terrifying to me. I kept a tight grip on them. Today, when we first got to the fair, they were both walking beside me and looking around. By the end of the day, they were holding onto me in their typical ways – Rob holding my right hand and Casey holding my left elbow.

That’s how I knew it was time to go. When the anxiety and stress of the crowds start getting to them, they seek comfort and security. So we did our usual – one more ride, a stop at our favorite French fry stand and headed home. As much as they both love being there, when it gets too crowded, they are done.

I hope that each of you gets to experience amazing, fun family days like we did today. It didn’t take long watching them have fun for my grumpiness to go away. It’s just awesome to me that they are both able to enjoy an activity like this together. As they got on and off rides, they watched out for each other and waited, so they were always together – just like close-knit siblings. I had tears in my eyes once or twice watching one help the other with buckles or belts as they settled in for a ride.

It’s days like today that remind me autism isn’t always so bad. Yeah, we have rough days and nights at times, but – I have also have three kids (and Cory!) who are very close and love each other more than anything. Isn’t that really what every parents wants?

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Autism Mom and her Not so Little Weatherman

Autism Mom and her Not so Little Weatherman

It’s been a long week for us.  The crazy weather started Sunday as Rob’s autism anxiety grew steadily as the day went on.  I knew there was a possibility of a little snow Monday, but he knew better.  He began asking for his workshop about mid-afternoon and had worked himself up to being unable to stop his “storm song” by evening.  I should have known he knew something was coming.

Monday morning, I got up to find Rob already awake and asking for work.  He took his pills and his breakfast back to his room and I turned my phone on to see what was going on.  Luckily, I did this before I woke Casey up – their workshop was closed due to icy roads.  I told him it was closed and he was going to stay home with me that day.  He wasn’t pleased, but seemed more relaxed than he had the day before.

He went back to sleep and was happier when he got up.  He did keep telling me they were going to work Tuesday and I agreed with him that they would be going.  We had a pretty good day with him reminding me many times that he really wanted to go to work the next day.

Late in the day, I heard about another possible storm heading our way.  It wasn’t supposed to reach us till late in the week, so I didn’t think too much about it.  Rob didn’t seem too concerned, so I wasn’t either.  Until Wednesday, when I came home from work.

As I parked in the garage, I already heard his storm song.  I couldn’t believe he was already sensing the storm!  I checked my phone to see if something was closer than I thought, but there was nothing predicted until the end of the week.  The weathermen were predicting rain – or possibly 24″ of snow.  Rob told me snow.  And he continued to sing his storm song.

His song got louder as the evening went on, but he did go to sleep fairly quickly.  Thursday, his storm song was almost constant.  He laughed when I asked if we were going to get rain or a lot of snow.  (He has a very devilish giggle when he thinks I’m being especially goofy!)

Friday, it was still pouring rain, but the storm was coming.  All of the schools in our area were closing early and so was their workshop.  We were safely at home before the ice started, then the snow.  This morning, we had about 6″ of snow at our house, with drifts over a foot deep in some places.  He was right again.

When the kids were little, I had a coat rack in the dining room for their backpacks when they got home from school.  I always knew there was a snow day coming when Rob put his backpack in his room instead of the coat rack.  He was wrong once – school closed because of a flood, not snow.  He is much more reliable than any weatherman.

Rob is happily playing with his Legos now.  No storm songs and no squeals.  Casey is singing and says the snow is all done.  And I’m left wondering again just how sensitive they have to be to know when bad weather is coming.  I can’t imagine being able to feel the barometer dropping, though I suppose many of us do in one way or another.  Whether it’s a sinus headache or achy joints, we feel the changes.

I am so proud of the way the kids handle their sensitivities.  I know he gets loud and she shuts down, but I can’t imagine  what I would do.  When my patience is running out  – when I’ve heard the same darn phrase 100 times in the last ten minutes – I have to keep telling myself that they aren’t trying to annoy me.

They are simply trying to handle a pain that I can’t even imagine.  They are just communicating their needs in a way that I understand.  I have to stay calm or his anxiety will go even higher and he will get louder.  I remind myself that he can’t help it – that they are both coping the best they can, just like the rest of us.

I am constantly amazed that he knows exactly when rain/snow will start.  He walked into the dining room a few minutes ago and looked out the window.  I said that the snow was all done.  He looked at me and laughed – and it was snowing again.  I don’t know how many times he has shut the windows just a minute or two before the rain starts.

Can you imagine being that sensitive to things in our every day life?  To foods or textures or noises or odors?  Can you imagine feeling pain when you have to wear a certain type of clothing?  Or feeling sick when someone tries to force you to eat a gooey food?   It’s no wonder many people with autism hate crowds – imagine the smells and sounds!

My kids are stronger than I am.  The constant assault on my brain/body would be more than I could handle.  I know they don’t understand that not everyone feels/smells/hears like they do.  I’m sure they assume everyone is like them, but I wonder.  Do they ever watch us and wonder  what our lives are like?  Do they wonder why Mandy got to learn to drive and they didn’t?  Or why she lives in another house and they don’t?

For now, I’ll be happy that the storm song is quiet.  And I’ll be ready to listen when he starts singing it again.