Autism and sleeping as been a big topic of discussion on our Facebook page the last few days. One mom asked for some advice and so many offered ideas for what helped their child sleep. Be sure to check out that post – there are a lot of ideas that I had never heard of, but parents are having success with each of them.
When Casey was a toddler, she would “sneak” out of bed and down the hall to lay by the living room door. Of course, I never noticed the little green ghost carrying three teddy bears as she ran by me. 🙂 When she did finally go to sleep, she stayed asleep all night. Now, I think that she was lonely. Mandy was just a baby and was sleeping in my room in her crib (because I didn’t want her crying to wake Casey). As soon as Mandy moved into Casey’s room, she stayed put…. but not necessarily asleep, as she loved to peek in Mandy’s crib and giggle at her.
After Casey got her autism diagnosis, she managed to switch her days and nights – meaning she wanted to sleep all day and be up all night. She slept at school when she could and on the days when she didn’t have school, I spent my days fighting to keep her awake. (she would hide to sleep – or even lay in the middle of the backyard and curl up!) But even if I did keep her up all day, she still wanted to be up all night, too. Those were some long nights, but finally, she adjusted herself.
Rob slept through the night as a toddler, but then decided that he wouldn’t sleep in his room at all. I am guessing he had a bad dream and associated it with his room. Every night, as soon as he could, he grabbed a pile of blankets and either came to my room to sleep on the floor or he went into the girls’ room and slept there. For years, he slept on the floor. I know at times, it drove Mandy crazy, as she got tired of him being there, but Casey never said much about it.
And then it happened. Rob couldn’t go to sleep. When he did finally crash, he didn’t stay asleep. He was up and down all night – singing, playing, opening and shutting doors. I was grateful that, unlike others with autism, he never tried to leave the house or get into anything dangerous. He just wandered – checked on the girls, checked on me and laid on his bed and “sang.”
He had piles of blankets – a nightlight – a fan – and a CD player that played the same song over and over and over ALL NIGHT. If I turned it down or off, he would wake up. If I turned the light off in the kitchen, he would wake up. His door had to be open – the closet door had to be open. And still he sang and wandered.
I can go one night without sleep without too many negative affects. After so many, I started falling asleep, even if he was wandering – I just couldn’t stay awake any more. After a while, my body adjusted to little sleep, but I still wasn’t in great shape! He stopped watching TV before bed time – he didn’t have any electronics at that point in time. He just couldn’t relax enough to sleep and he didn’t sleep during the day to make up for it. He just didn’t need much sleep.
But his lack of sleep was causing him to gain weight and I knew it was having other affects on his body. I talked to his doctor and we tried melatonin. For a while, it worked really well, but then it stopped helping. We finally decided his anxiety levels were causing him to be unable to sleep, so we tried anxiety meds.
After many, many years and many tries/fails, he is sleeping through the night. And since he is sleeping, his anxiety levels are dropping and he is able to try new things. He also is less likely to overeat. I can tell him he’s had enough and he’s okay with that.
We have an evening routine that, to be honest, I don’t mess with much. Casey takes her bath, then he has a shower. She has her pills and a snack while he showers, then he gets his. They either play with iPads, rip cardboard or color an hour or so and then go to bed. We don’t do any exercising after baths – they don’t drink any caffeine (especially Casey – one glass of iced tea at supper will keep her up all night!). The TV is on, but they don’t watch it often.
They both have fans and nightlights in their rooms. Right now, they each have a window air conditioner (we have central air, but Casey’s room doesn’t get cool enough and the colder it is, the better Rob sleeps.) I’ll leave the AC’s in as long as possible, just for the sleeping aide. I don’t usually take them out until mid-October, especially Rob’s. Casey is okay for hers to come out as soon as the weather cools off – she doesn’t need the noise.
Casey sleeps with several blankets and turns a video on her TV before she goes to sleep. She has a digital picture frame that is on all night and she sleeps with a stuffed toy. Most nights, she is asleep by 9:45 or 10. Once in a while, she has a hard time sleeping and she may be up most of the night. On those nights, I have to keep telling her to stop dancing in her room. Her thumping/jumping is right above my head!
Rob has three heavy duty sleeping bags, three really heavy blankets, two extra large lighter weight blankets, and more small fleece ones (8 – 10 is a conservative guess). He has four pillows and doesn’t sleep with his head flat on the bed – he is often on his stomach with his forehead pressed against the wall, sound asleep. He needs his fan and night light, but now, his door must be closed and the kitchen light off. He doesn’t listen to music anymore and doesn’t turn on the TV. Often, he goes to bed as soon as he realizes Casey has (monkey see, monkey do – comes in handy at times!). Many nights, he sings for a little while, but is usually asleep by 10:30. He needs his medications to help him.
So ideas to try:
- melatonin – you can buy it at Walmart in extended release tablets if your child will go to sleep, but can’t stay asleep.
- weighted blankets – or just lots of them.
- sound machine or a fan
- some people use essential oils such as lavender to help their child relax. My kids are both too sensitive to odors to try this, though.
- A simple routine – warm bath, a book, no exciting TV, and a snack (you will have to play around with your routine to see what works for your child.)
- I just read that an Epsom salt bath could help and that you can also buy magnesium rubs to help your child relax.
- CBD oil – but talk to your doctor first and be sure it’s legal in your state!
- turn off all electronic devices a few hours before bed
- quiet activity, such as coloring or reading, if possible.
Please remember to only change one thing at a time! If you change a bunch, you won’t know what really helped your child. If all else fails, talk to your child’s doctor about sleeping aides. Trust me, I understand that you don’t want to give your child medication unless you have to, but sometimes, you have to – for their sake and the rest of the family! You can’t be the best parent to your child if you are a walking zombie every day and it will become a safety issue.