Over the last several weeks, our world seems to be spinning out of control. People are protesting, rioting, arguing about masks, politics… it’s an endless stream of negativity. Honestly, I pay little attention to it – we have enough to handle in our own home with adding the drama of the outside world, too. But – I can’t help thinking that everyone would be happier if they started acting and thinking like a person with autism.
Have you ever seen a person with autism dislike someone because of the clothes they wore or how they looked? Nope. The only time I have ever heard either of my kids mention a black person was at the drive in. We were parked by a van with several teenagers of different races. They were loud and having fun and not bothering us at all. But Casey – oh man Casey…. she started stomping her feet and getting herself worked up, chanting “Black man! Black man!” I was trying to quiet her before she upset the teenagers and not having much luck.
But – I was also kind of proud of her for finally noticing someone different than herself. Until I realized she wasn’t talking about the teenagers. She was getting tired of waiting for the movie “Men in Black” to start. 🙂 (for some reason, she loves the first one of those movies!) Chanting “Black man!” was her way of asking for the movie to start!
They don’t hold it against someone if their clothes aren’t perfect. They don’t care about the car you drive. They don’t care if you have a million dollars or three quarters. If you are kind to them, Casey and Rob will accept you just the way you are – black, red, older, younger, police officer, teacher, aide – makes no difference. Just be kind to them. If you aren’t, they will remember and they will have little to do with you after that. It won’t have anything to do with how you look – it will be you, personally.
How many of us can honestly say that we have never judged someone at first site? Maybe they were dirty or they had ripped clothes. Maybe they drove a fancy car or flashed around a lot of money. Maybe they just “looked” like bad news. We have all done it – you can’t lie. I know I have. And I know that I try to follow Casey and Rob’s lead in accepting people for how they treat me and the kids instead of how they may look. It’s not always easy, but I do it. Because I would hate for people to judge me on how I look running in to a store when I’m in the middle of a project, dressed in old clothes and ran out of something to finish the project. People probably change direction when they see me coming. 🙂
Casey and Rob don’t feel the need to try to impress anyone, either. Casey simply doesn’t care what others think. Rob does, but he won’t try to make someone like him. They don’t need the “right” clothes. They don’t care about expensive vacations. They care about being with Mandy and Cory. They care about spending time with Grandma and Grandpa and Uncle Jeff and Tracie. They care about wading in a creek or watching a waterfall. They care about soft t-shirts and cute socks. They care about doing crafts and listening to music. They care about sparklers and birthdays and Easter eggs. Their presents could be nothing but socks and playing cards and they would both be happy.
They don’t force themselves to eat things they don’t like. They don’t try to change themselves to fit someone else’s image of who they should be. Their self-confidence is inspiring – and has truly helped to build mine, too. I’ve learned to like myself more – to remember that I’m okay just the way I am and I don’t need anyone’s approval of the choices I make. Try it sometime – it’s a very freeing feeling!
I want people to look at the world through a person with autism’s eyes. I want people to see the good in others, the beauty in sparklers, the peacefulness of a waterfall. I want them to see the joy in Elmo, the excitement of a milkshake, the love in a simple hug. I want the world to slow down and see what’s really important.
Will it happen? I doubt it. People are too self-absorbed most of the time. And that’s funny, because most people with autism are completely self-absorbed – the world is simply all about what makes them happy. The difference is – what makes them happy are simple things in life. Family, friends, French fries, walks, frosty’s, swinging on the porch swing, a new coloring book, a new sign, a new pack of cards, a cookie before bed. Simple pleasures in life that so many people miss because they are too worried about stuff that doesn’t matter.
This week, I challenge you to watch your person with autism and try to be like them. Slow down. Move into their world, as much as they will allow. Look at the world through their eyes and let the negativity go. It’s simply not worth it.